WELL, ZEUS OLD DOG, WE'RE SITTING ON THE PORCH AGAIN. WE LIVED TO SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE AND A LOT OF FOLKS CAN'T SAT THAT. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY FROM THE VIEW ON THE PORCH. HEY, IT'S SATURDAY! THAT MEANS I CAN SIT OUT HERE WITH YOU ALL DAY. OH, SORRY, I FORGOT YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK EVERYDAY AND DON'T GET WEEKENDS OFF LIKE I DO, BUT WE'LL TRY TO HAVE A FUN DAY ANYWAY. I'VE GOT TO MOW THE GRASS AND WASH THE CAR. NOTHING MAJOR. NOTHING THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING OUT HERE WITH YOU!
HEY! THERE GOES COLLIN, DELIVERING THE MORNING PAPERS. I REMEMBER MY GRANDDADDY BUD LOVED HIS DAILY PAPER AND HOW HE TRAIPSED TO THE ROAD TO PICK IT UP. WHAT, TRAIPSED? THAT'S A WORD MY GRANDMA USED A LOT AND EVEN MY MOM USED IT OFTEN. i GUESS IT'S ONE OF THEM COUNTY-ISMS, WORDS THAT EVOLVE IN A LOCAL AREA, BUT THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ITS MEANING. YOU KNOW HOW WHEN WE LEAVE THAT BUSH DOWN THERE, AND YOU NOTICE A NEW DOG SMELL ON THE LIGHT POLE HERE ON THE CORNER? YOU TRAIPSE, OLD BOY! IT'S A JAUNTY, LIVELY WALK WITH PURPOSE. I REMEMBER HOW UPSET GRANDDADDY GOT WHEN THE NEWS AND OBSERVER ANNOUNCED THEY WERE STOPPING RURAL DELIVERIES. IT WAS TO BE DELIVERED BY THE MAILMAN, WHICH DIDN'T COME UNTIL THE AFTERNOON. I WONDER IF HE COULD COPE WITH TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY TO GET HIS NEWS.
YOU KNOW MY ROUTINE. ONCE I GET MY FIRST CUP OF COFFEE, WHICH IS PRE-PROGRAMMED TO BE READY WHEN I GET UP, I CHECK THE COMPUTER FOR THE HEADLINES. YOU KNOW, IMPORTANT STUFF, LIKE THE FACEBOOK "NEWS" FEED ABOUT MICHAEL BUBLE' EATING CORN ON THE COB ALL WRONG.
WHAT'S THAT? OH YEAH, YESTERDAY'S SUNRISE WAS REALLY AMAZING, AND I TRIED TO GET PICTURES TO SHARE, BUT AS YOU'VE HEARD ME SAY, TECHNOLOGY GOT IN THE WAY. OH, DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE TECHNOLOGY. I'VE MADE A PRETTY GOOD LIVING BECAUSE OF TECHNOLOGY AND YOU EAT PRETTY WELL, BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS HUMANS AND DOGS CAN DO BETTER. NOPE. NO COMPUTER CAN EVER REPLACE YOU, BOY! THE YARD MUST BE SNIFFED AND NEATLY SPRAYED WITH AN ACCURACY ONLY A PRO LIKE YOU CAN AIM. SOMETIMES I THINK TWO THIRDS OF YOUR BODY IS BLADDER, BECAUSE I HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING HOW YOU CAN RESERVE JUST ENOUGH PEE TO COVER EVERY BUSH FROM THE CORNER OF THE YARD TO THE OTHER END. ONLY YOU CAN METER OUT JUST ENOUGH PEE FOR EACH BUSH AND POLE AND HAVE ENOUGH TO REAPPLY ON THE WAY BACK, IF NECESSARY.
GETTING BACK TO YESTERDAY'S SUNRISE, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, WITH A RED HUE I HAVE SELDOM SEEN, LIKE IT WAS ON FIRE! NOT EVERYBODY GETS UP EARLY ENOUGH TO SEE IT, OR THINGS ARE IN THE WAY LIKE TREES AND HOUSES. SO I FIRE UP THE QUAD SO I CAN SNAP A PICTURE FROM ABOVE THE TREETOPS, AND IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO BOOT UP. WHEN IT DID, IT COMPLAINED THE BATTERY WAS TOO COLD, SINCE I HAD LEFT IT IN THE CAR OVERNIGHT. BEING A GOOD ENGINEER, I DID THE LOGICAL THING AND TURNED THE POWER OFF AND BACK ON. THIS TIME IT COMPLAINED THE INTERNAL MEASUREMENT UNIT HAD FAILED. AGAIN I POWER CYCLED IT AND IT BOOTED UP QUICKLY, BUT STILL COMPLAINED THE BATTERY TEMPERATURE WAS TOO LOW. I PACKED IT BACK IN THE BACKPACK AND FINISHED MY COFFEE ON THE PORCH WITHOUT TAKING A PICTURE. I CAN SEE IT IN MY MIND, BUT I CAN'T SHARE IT WITH ANYONE.
SEE, YOUR JOB IS TO SNIFF CLOSE TO THE GROUND AND AROUND THE BUSHES TO MAKE SURE OUR YARD SMELLS LIKE YOURS. I USE TECHNOLOGY TO SOAR ABOVE THE TREES TO SEE THE SUNRISE WITHOUT ANY OBSTACLES. I USE COMPUTERS AT WORK SO THAT I CAN DO THE SAME JOB THAT 10 PEOPLE USED TO DO. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, MY JOB AND YOURS IS NOT ALL THAT DIFFERENT. i JUST HAVE TO DRIVE INTO THE CITY EACH DAY, PEE ON THINGS, AND RETURN HOME. YOU JUST DON'T HAVE TO GO AS FAR TO DO YOUR JOB.
OH, BTW, YOU KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A FOUR LEAF CLOVER IN THE YARD, FOR OVER 20 YEARS, AND THERE'S NEVER ANY AROUND. JUST SO I CAN HAVE SOME GOOD LUCK. WELL, I FOUND FOUR TODAY! RIGHT INSIDE YOUR PIN IN THE BACK YARD! I GUESS YOUR PEE CAUSED THEM TO MUTATE, SO THANKS OLD BUDDY, YOU DONE GOOD. SILLY? I DON'T THINK FOUR LEAF CLOVERS ARE SILLY. MORE PEOPLE OUGHT TO SIT IN THE GRASS AND LOOK FOR THEM, INSTEAD OF SEARCHING FOR A PANDA ON A CELL PHONE SCREEN. I ALWAYS SECRETLY WISHED ON A CLOVER TO PASS MY GRADES, AND IT WORKED! I EVEN WISHED FOR FAMILY MEMBERS TO HAVE GOOD HEALTH.
YOU SEE, SOME PEOPLE PRAY FOR A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET. I DON'T THINK IT WORKS THAT WAY. IT'S GOOD TO PRAY, JUST NOT FOR EARTHLY THINGS FOR YOU PERSONALLY. IT'S FINE TO ASK FOR PRAYERS, BECAUSE PRAYER CHAINS TOTALLY WORK. BUT FOR EVERYDAY LUCK, JUST USE A FOUR LEAF CLOVER. I NEVER THOUGHT A RABBIT'S FOOT WAS A GOOD LUCK CHARM. CERTAINLY WASN'T FOR THE RABBIT!
IF YOU LIKED THIS, LEAVE A COMMENT AND CLICK THE THUMBS UP. IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, SO THE SAME THING! SEE YA ON THE PORCH!
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